#ผลกระทบของCOVID19ต่อการเติบโตของเด็ก
#เรารู้อะไรจากงานวิจัย
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ใครๆก็รู้ว่าเด็กที่เติบโตในยุคที่มีการระบาดของโรค COVID19
ต้องได้รับผลกระทบแน่นอน...ไม่เห็นต้องไปอ่านงานวิจัยที่ไหน
แค่หันมามองลูกเราเอง ก็รู้แล้ว😅
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แต่ข้อดีของการอ่านข้อมูลจากงานวิจัย
ทำให้เรามองเห็นภาพได้ชัดเจนขึ้น ว่าขนาดของปัญหาที่เราคิดว่า
อาจจะเกิดกับลูกของเรา มันกว้าง มันลึกประมาณเท่าไหร่
และเมื่อรู้ข้อมูลเหล่านี้ เราเองจะมีทางทำให้ดีขึ้นได้บ้างมั้ย
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1) งานวิจัยแรกที่หยิบยกมาเล่าให้ฟัง
เป็น systematic review( เป็นงานเขียนที่รวบรวมงานวิจัยที่คล้ายๆกันมากลั่นกรองข้อมูลอีกที )
เค้าศึกษาเรื่องผลกระทบของ การระบาด COVID19
ต่อการเจริญเติบโตและพัฒนาการในเด็ก
ความน่าสนใจของงานวิจัยนี้
ไม่ใช่แค่หาข้อมูลเรื่อง COVID เพียงอย่างเดียว
แต่เค้ายังหยิบยกข้อมูลตอนที่เกิด pandemic อื่นๆมาเปรียบเทียบอีกด้วย
ในการศึกษานี้พบว่า
จากจำนวนผู้เข้าร่วมวิจัย 1210 ราย
(คนที่ตอบจะเป็นผู้หญิง เป็นตัวแทนของครอบครัวที่มีสมาชิก 2-5 คน)
53% มีคนในครอบครัวมีปัญหาสุขภาพจิตในระดับปานกลางถึงรุนแรง
โดย 16% มีอาการของซึมเศร้า
29% เป็นโรควิตกกังวล
8% เป็นโรคเครียด
ซึ่งเมื่อเทียบกับ การระบาดของ H1N1 การระบาดของ Ebola, การที่ครอบครัวมีคนติดเชื้อ HIV ในแอฟริกา
จะพบว่าผลกระทบต่อสุขภาพจิต
ที่เกิด COVID19 ระบาด จะส่งผลกว้างกว่า
ซึ่งโดยส่วนตัว หมอคิดว่า ไม่ว่า Pandemic อะไรก็คงส่งผลให้เกิดความเครียดทั้งนั้น มันไม่ใช่แค่ปัจจัยเรื่องตัวโรคเพียงอย่างเดียว
(ไม่ใช่ว่า COVID เครียดกว่า H1N2 หรือ Ebola)
แต่ยังมีเรื่องของสภาพสังคมปัจจุบัน ข่าวสาร
ที่ทำให้เกิดความเครียดได้มากกว่าในยุคก่อน
หรืออีกแง่มุมหนึ่งคือ การเก็บข้อมูลที่ดี ทำได้รวดเร็วกว่าในยุคก่อน ทำให้ข้อมูลเที่ยงตรงมากขึ้น
*** จุดสำคัญของงานวิจัยนี้คือ การที่มีคนในครอบครัวมีปัญหาสุขภาพจิต ก็จะไปส่งผลกระทบโดยตรงต่อพัฒนาการเด็ก เพราะหากเด็กเติบโตในครอบครัวที่ผู้ใหญ่มีความเครียดสูง จะทำให้เกิดความเครียดที่รุนแรง ส่งผลต่อการเจริญเติบโตของโครงสร้างสมอง (toxic stress)
2) งานวิจัยที่ 2 ทำในประเทศเกาหลีใต้
พ่อแม่ 217 ครอบครัว ของเด็กวัย 7-12 ปี เป็นผู้ตอบคำถามวิจัย
และแบบทดสอบประเมินสุขภาพจิต เด็กในเกาหลีใต้กลุ่มนี้ เรียนออนไลน์ 97%
พ่อแม่บอกว่า มีปัญหาเรื่องการใช้หน้าจอ
โดยพบว่าเด็กใช้ Youtube มาก 87.6%
เล่นเกมส์ 78%
ใช้เวลาอยู่กับหน้าจอมากเกินไป มีปัญหาเรื่องพฤติกรรมด้านลบ และมีปัญหาเรื่องการนอนหลับ ซึ่งเมื่อดูในรายละเอียด พบว่า บ้านที่เด็กมีปัญหาเรื่องพฤติกรรม และเด็กมีปัญหาเรื่องการนอน สัมพันธ์กับแม่ที่มีภาวะซึมเศร้าชัดเจน
3) งานวิจัยที่ 3 ทำในประเทศจีน 1062 ครอบครัว พ่อแม่ตอบแบบสอบถาม 1062 ราย ให้เด็กตอบแบบสอบถามเองได้ 738 ราย
ทำวิจัยในเด็กประถมเช่นกัน พบว่า ทั้งพ่อแม่ และเด็กมีความเครียดเพิ่มขึ้น
18% มีปัญหาด้านพฤติกรรม นอกจากนี้โดยส่วนใหญ่มีสมาธิลดลง และมีปัญหาเรื่องการเรียน
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ตัวอย่างงานวิจัยที่หมอยกมา
ทำให้เรามองเห็นภาพว่า
1) เด็กปฐมวัย (เด็กเล็ก-อนุบาล)
เด็กวัยนี้ เป็นวัยที่สำคัญสุดๆ
เพราะประสบการณ์ในวัยนี้ กำหนด โครงสร้างสมอง
เด็กไม่ได้รับรู้
เข้าใจความเลวร้ายของโรคระบาดดีนัก
เด็กไม่เข้าใจปัญหาเศรษฐกิจ
เด็กไม่เข้าใจปัญหาความล้มเหลวในการบริหารระบบอะไรใดๆ
เด็กเพียงแค่เข้าใจว่าพ่อแม่ #มีหรือไม่มีความสุข เท่านั้น
ถ้าคุณเป็น พ่อแม่ ที่ลูกที่บ้านอายุน้อยกว่า 6 ปี
หมอต้องบอกว่า....เวลานี้เป็นช่วงเวลาที่สำคัญยิ่ง
เวลาของ COVID19 ผ่านเข้ามา
แล้วสักวันต้องผ่านไป
แต่หากลูกเล็กของเรา
ต้องเติบโตพร้อมกับบรรยากาศที่พ่อแม่ทุกข์ระทม พ่อแม่ทะเลาะกัน มีปัญหาเรื่องปากท้อง คนในบ้านเจ็บป่วย ไม่ได้เล่น ไม่มีรอยยิ่ม (toxic stress) ฯลฯ
2-3 ปีที่ต้องอยู่ในสภาพนี้
จะกำหนดโครงสร้างสมองของลูก
และเค้าต้องอยู่กับสมองที่ได้รับผลกระทบนี้ไปตลอดชีวิต
หมอรู้ว่าปัญหาบางอย่างแก้ไม่ได้ที่ #ระดับตัวเรา
แค่ลองดูว่า ปัญหาที่เราแก้ได้ด้วยตัวเอง เราทำแะไรให้ดีขึ้นบ้างมั้ย
2) พ่อแม่วัยประถม
จะเห็นว่า ไม่ใช่แค่ประเทศเรา
พ่อแม่เด็กวัยนี้จะเป็นกังวลเรื่องการเรียนของลูก
การใช้หน้าจอ ปัญหาความสนใจในเรียนลดลง
ปัญหาสุขภาพแฝงที่มากับการไม่ได้ออกไปเล่นไปปลดปล่อยนอกบ้าน
ความเครียดของแม่ การทะเลาะกันของพ่อแม่กับลูก
หมอเองก็เป็นแม่ของเด็กวัยประถมเช่นกัน
เด็กวัยนี้ เข้าใจสถานการณ์ของสังคมได้ดีพอสมควร
แต่ตามพัฒนาการของเค้า สิ่งสำคัญคือการไปเข้าสังคมกับเพื่อน
การทำงานด้วยกัน เล่นกัน โกรธกัน คืนดีกัน
เพื่อพัฒนาทักษะสำคัญคือ
การเข้าสังคม การปรับตัว การยืดหยุ่น
ซึ่งเค้าไม่ได้ทำสิ่งที่ควรจะทำ ก็เกิดความเครียดได้มากมายแล้ว
สิ่งที่ได้กลับมา
คือ ต้องเรียนหน้าจอที่ไม่สนุก ไม่มีเพื่อน
ถามจริงว่า ถ้าคุณมีหน้าจอกับมือ มีเนื้อหาในหน้าจอที่หน้าเบื่อ กับเนื้อหาสนุกเลือกเองได้ เราจะอยากได้อย่างไหน
ตัวเลขในวิจัยก็ไม่เกินความคาดหมายใช่มั้ย
ถ้าเรามองลูกอย่างเข้าใจ
อย่างน้อย ก็อาจจะให้หงุดหงิดลูกได้น้อยลงบ้างนะคะ
3) พ่อแม่วัยรุ่น
ต้องบอกว่า เราคงทำอะไรไม่ได้มาก
นอกจากจะดูผลแห่งการเลี้ยงดูลูกในอดีตของเราเอง
ถ้าเราหล่อเลี้ยงใจเค้าตั้งแต่ปฐมวัย และประถม
วัยนี้ หมอเข้าใจว่า สิ่งที่เราทำได้คือ เฝ้าดู และบอกลูกว่า แม่อยู่ตรงนี้นะ
ถ้าอยากให้ช่วยเหลือ
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ข้อมูลเรื่องการแก้ปัญหา
หมอขออ้างอิง Center on developing child (Havard University)
https://developingchild.harvard.edu/resources/how-to-help-families-and-staff-build-resilience-during-the-covid-19-outbreak/
เรื่องการสร้างเด็กที่ ล้มแล้วลุกได้ไว (Resilience)
ซึ่งหมอเคยได้เขียนไปในบทความก่อนหน้านี้
ปัจจัยสำคัญของการสร้างเด็กที่มี Reilience ต้องการ 4 ข้อ
1. จะต้องมีสายสัมพันธ์ที่มั่นคง กับผู้เลี้ยงดูอย่างน้อย 1 คน
2. จะต้องไม่มี toxic stress กล่าวคือ เหตุการณ์ที่ทำให้สมองหลั่งสารความเครียดอย่างต่อเนื่อง กระทบต่อพัฒนการโครงสร้างสมองโดยตรง
โดยความเครียดที่ว่า เด็ก(รู้สึก)ถูกทอดทิ้ง ไม่ได้รับการตอบสนองเมื่อเค้าตต้องการ พ่อแม่ที่มีภาวะสุขภาพจิตรุนแรง เช่น โรคซึมเศร้า เป็นจิตเภท
ถูกทำร้ายร่างกาย ถูกล่วงละเมิด เป็นต้น
3. มี positive stress กล่าวคือ มีการฝึกวินัย ที่เด็กต้องบังคับ ฝึกตนเองให้ก้าวผ่านอุปสรรคไปได้ เป็นอุปสรรคที่คาดเดาได้ เช่น
แม่ให้ล้างจมูก ไม่อยากล้าง แต่ก็ต้องทำ
แม่ให้ช่วยทำงานบ้าน ไม่อยากทำ แต่ท้ายที่สุดก็ทำจนเสร็จ
ทำการบ้านได้เสร็จ
เรียนออนไลน์ ไม่สนุกแต่ก็บังคับตัวเองให้เรียนได้
4. เปิดโอกาสให้เด็กได้ทำอะไรด้วยตัวเอง ตามความสามารถที่เพิ่มขึ้นในแต่ละวัย
สำหรับอุปสรรคที่ส่งผลต่อการเจริญเติบโตของเด็กทั้งโลก
อย่างการระบาดของ COVID19
ในบทความได้เขียนบรรยาย และวาดภาพเอาไว้เข้าใจง่าย
เค้าเปรียบเทียบ สิ่งที่ส่งผลต่อการเจริญเติบโตของเด็ก
ในช่วงชีวิตของเด็กจะต้องมีทั้งด้านบวก และด้านลบ
การที่เราจะสร้างเด็กที่มีคุณสมบัติ Resilience ได้
ตาชั่ง ด้านบวกต้องมากกว่า หรือเท่ากับด้านลบ
เราจะทำอย่างไร
1) ลดปัจจัยด้านลบ ที่ส่งผลกระทบต่อเด็ก
ลองกลับไปทบทวนดูว่า ในตอนนี้เราสามารถลดปัจจัยนั้นได้มากน้อยแค่ไหน เช่น หงุดหงิดใส่ลูกบ่อยๆ เพราะเครียดจากเรื่องอื่น เราจะลดได้มั้ย
หรือ รู้ตัวว่าเริ่มมีภาวะซึมเศร้า...เราจะขอความช่วยเหลือจากใครได้บ้าง
(เห็นแผนภาพแล้วหมอก็เศร้า....เราอยู่ในประเทศ ที่ต้องพึ่งตัวเองเป็นหลักเลยค่ะ...อะไรที่พอทำได้ ก็ต้องทำไปค่ะ เพื่อลูก)
2) เพิ่มปัจจัยด้านบวก
อย่างที่บอก คือ เด็กต้องการเงื่อนไข 4 ข้อ ลองขึ้นไปอ่านด้านบน ว่าเราได้ทำได้หรือยัง ถ้ายัง จะเพิ่มเติมตรงไหนได้อีกบ้าง แต่บอกเลยว่า ข้อ 1 สำคัญที่สุด ถ้าไม่มีข้อ 1 ไม่ต้องคิดถึงข้อถัดๆไป ดังนั้น อย่าไปคิดอะไรไกลตัว...ไม่ต้องไปคิดถึงคะแนนสอบ ไม่ต้องไปคิดว่าเราไม่ค่อยมีเวลาสอนการบ้านลูก.....แค่บรรยากาศในบ้าน ที่ไม่เครียด ลูกยังรู้ว่าเรารักเค้า...นั่นก็ดีพอแล้วค่ะ
.....
หมอแพม
ปล. ไม่ได้เขียนบทความนานมากแล้ว เพราะมาเติมปัจจัย Resilience ของตัวเองและเด็กในบ้าน
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4 child families 在 江魔的魔界(Kong Keen Yung 江健勇) Facebook 的精選貼文
這是前些日子爆出已經被加拿大法院接理對藏傳佛教噶舉派法王的訟訴。(加拿大法院鏈接在此:https://www.bccourts.ca/jdb-txt/sc/21/09/2021BCSC0939cor1.htm?fbclid=IwAR2FLZlzmUIGTBaTuKPVchEqqngcE3Qy6G_C0TWNWVKa2ksbIYkVJVMQ8f8)
這位法王的桃色事件,我是幾年前才聽到。但,藏傳佛教的高層有這些性醜聞,我已經聽了幾十年。我以前的一位前女友也被一些堪布藉故上她的家摟抱過,也有一些活佛跟她表白。(這不只是她,其他地方我也聽過不少)
這是一個藏傳佛教裡面系統式的問題。
很多時候發生這種事情,信徒和教主往往都是說女方得不到寵而報仇,或者說她們也精神病,或者說她們撒謊。
我不排除有這種可能性,但,多過一位,甚至多位出來指證的時候,我是傾向於相信『沒有那麼巧這麼多有精神病的女人要撒謊來報仇』。
大寶法王的桃色事件,最先吹哨的是一位台灣的在家信徒,第二位是香港的女出家人,現在加拿大又多一位公開舉報上法庭。
對大寶法王信徒來說,這一次的比較麻煩,因為是有孩子的。(關於有孩子的,我早在法王的桃色事件曝光時,就有聽聞)
如果法庭勒令要驗證DNA,這對法王和他的信徒來說,會很尷尬和矛盾,因為做或不做,都死。
你若問我,我覺得『人數是有力量的』,同時我也覺得之後有更多的人站出來,是不出奇的。
我也藉此呼籲各方佛教徒,如果你們真的愛佛教,先別說批判,但如鴕鳥般不討論這些爭議,你是間接害了佛教。
(下面是我從加拿大法院鏈接拷貝下來的內容,當中有很多細節。)
Table of Contents
INTRODUCTION
BACKGROUND
ANALYSIS
A. The Spousal Support Claim in this Case
B. The Test to Amend Pleadings
C. Pleadings in Family Law Cases
D. The Legal Concept of a Marriage-Like Relationship
E. Is There a Reasonable Claim of a Marriage-Like Relationship?
F. Delay / Prejudice
CONCLUSION
INTRODUCTION
[1] The claimant applies to amend her notice of family claim to seek spousal support. At issue is whether the claimant’s allegations give rise to a reasonable claim she lived with the respondent in a marriage-like relationship, so as to give rise to a potential entitlement to spousal support under the Family Law Act, S.B.C. 2011, c. 25 (“FLA”).
[2] The facts alleged by the claimant do not fit within a traditional concept of marriage. The claimant does not allege that she and the respondent ever lived together. Indeed, she has only met the respondent in person four times: twice very briefly in a public setting; a third time in private, when she alleges the respondent sexually assaulted her; and a fourth and final occasion, when she informed the respondent she was pregnant with his child.
[3] The claimant’s case is that what began as a non-consensual sexual encounter evolved into a loving and affectionate relationship. That relationship occurred almost entirely over private text messages. The parties rarely spoke on the telephone, and never saw one another during the relationship, even over video. The claimant says they could not be together because the respondent is forbidden by his station and religious beliefs from intimate relationships or marriage. Nonetheless, she alleges, they formed a marriage-like relationship that lasted from January 2018 to January 2019.
[4] The respondent denies any romantic relationship with the claimant. While he acknowledges providing emotional and financial support to the claimant, he says it was for the benefit of the child the claimant told him was his daughter.
[5] The claimant’s proposed amendment raises a novel question: can a secret relationship that began on-line and never moved into the physical world be like a marriage? In my view, that question should be answered by a trial judge after hearing all of the evidence. The alleged facts give rise to a reasonable claim the claimant lived with the respondent in a marriage-like relationship. Accordingly, I grant the claimant leave to amend her notice of family claim.
BACKGROUND
[6] It should be emphasized that this is an application to amend pleadings only. The allegations by the claimant are presumed to be true for the purposes of this application. Those allegations have not been tested in a court of law.
[7] The respondent, Ogyen Trinley Dorje, is a high lama of the Karma Kagyu School of Tibetan Buddhism. He has been recognized and enthroned as His Holiness, the 17th Gyalwang Karmapa. Without meaning any disrespect, I will refer to him as Mr. Dorje in these reasons for judgment.
[8] Mr. Dorje leads a monastic and nomadic lifestyle. His true home is Tibet, but he currently resides in India. He receives followers from around the world at the Gyuto Monetary in India. He also travels the world teaching Tibetan Buddhist Dharma and hosting pujas, ceremonies at which Buddhists express their gratitude and devotion to the Buddha.
[9] The claimant, Vikki Hui Xin Han, is a former nun of Tibetan Buddhism. Ms. Han first encountered Mr. Dorje briefly at a large puja in 2014. The experience of the puja convinced Ms. Han she wanted to become a Buddhist nun. She met briefly with Mr. Dorje, in accordance with Kagyu traditions, to obtain his approval to become a nun.
[10] In October 2016, Ms. Han began a three-year, three-month meditation retreat at a monastery in New York State. Her objective was to learn the practices and teachings of the Kagyu Lineage. Mr. Dorje was present at the retreat twice during the time Ms. Han was at the monastery.
[11] Ms. Han alleges that on October 14, 2017, Mr. Dorje sexually assaulted her in her room at the monastery. She alleges that she became pregnant from the assault.
[12] After she learned that she was pregnant, Ms. Han requested a private audience with Mr. Dorje. In November 2017, in the presence of his bodyguards, Ms. Han informed Mr. Dorje she was pregnant with his child. Mr. Dorje initially denied responsibility; however, he provided Ms. Han with his email address and a cellphone number, and, according to Ms. Han, said he would “prepare some money” for her.
[13] Ms. Han abandoned her plan to become a nun, left the retreat and returned to Canada. She never saw Mr. Dorje again.
[14] After Ms. Han returned to Canada, she and Mr. Dorje began a regular communication over an instant messaging app called Line. They also exchanged emails and occasionally spoke on the telephone.
[15] The parties appear to have expressed care and affection for one another in these communications. I say “appear to” because it is difficult to fully understand the meaning and intentions of another person from brief text messages, especially those originally written in a different language. The parties wrote in a private shorthand, sharing jokes, emojis, cartoon portraits and “hugs” or “kisses”. Ms. Han was the more expressive of the two, writing more frequently and in longer messages. Mr. Dorje generally participated in response to questions or prompting from Ms. Han, sometimes in single word messages.
[16] Ms. Han deposes that she believed Mr. Dorje was in love with her and that, by January 2018, she and Mr. Dorje were living in a “conjugal relationship”.
[17] During their communications, Ms. Han expressed concern that her child would be “illegitimate”. She appears to have asked Mr. Dorje to marry her, and he appears to have responded that he was “not ready”.
[18] Throughout 2018, Mr. Dorje transferred funds in various denominations to Ms. Han through various third parties. Ms. Han deposes that these funds were:
a) $50,000 CDN to deliver the child and for postpartum care she was to receive at a facility in Seattle;
b) $300,000 CDN for the first year of the child’s life;
c) $20,000 USD for a wedding ring, because Ms. Han wrote “Even if we cannot get married, you must buy me a wedding ring”;
d) $400,000 USD to purchase a home for the mother and child.
[19] On June 19, 2018, Ms. Han gave birth to a daughter in Richmond, B.C.
[20] On September 17, 2018, Mr. Dorje wrote, ”Taking care of her and you are my duty for life”.
[21] Ms. Han’s expectation was that the parties would live together in the future. She says they planned to live together. Those plans evolved over time. Initially they involved purchasing a property in Toronto, so that Mr. Dorje could visit when he was in New York. They also discussed purchasing property in Calgary or renting a home in Vancouver for that purpose. Ms. Han eventually purchased a condominium in Richmond using funds provided by Mr. Dorje.
[22] Ms. Han deposes that the parties made plans for Mr. Dorje to visit her and meet the child in Richmond. In October 2018, however, Mr. Dorje wrote that he needed to “disappear” to Europe. He wrote:
I will definitely find a way to meet her
And you
Remember to take care of yourself if something happens
[23] The final plan the parties discussed, according to Ms. Han, was that Mr. Dorje would sponsor Ms. Han and the child to immigrate to the United States and live at the Kagyu retreat centre in New York State.
[24] In January 2019, Ms. Han lost contact with Mr. Dorje.
[25] Ms. Han commenced this family law case on July 17, 2019, seeking child support, a declaration of parentage and a parentage test. She did not seek spousal support.
[26] Ms. Han first proposed a claim for spousal support in October 2020 after a change in her counsel. Following an exchange of correspondence concerning an application for leave to amend the notice of family claim, Ms. Han’s counsel wrote that Ms. Han would not be advancing a spousal support claim. On March 16, 2020, counsel reversed course, and advised that Ms. Han had instructed him to proceed with the application.
[27] When this application came on before me, the trial was set to commence on June 7, 2021. The parties were still in the process of discoveries and obtaining translations for hundreds of pages of documents in Chinese characters.
[28] At a trial management conference on May 6, 2021, noting the parties were not ready to proceed, Madam Justice Walkem adjourned the trial to April 11, 2022.
ANALYSIS
A. The Spousal Support Claim in this Case
[29] To claim spousal support in this case, Ms. Han must plead that she lived with Mr. Dorje in a marriage-like relationship. This is because only “spouses” are entitled to spousal support, and s. 3 of the Family Law Act defines a spouse as a person who is married or has lived with another person in a marriage-like relationship:
3 (1) A person is a spouse for the purposes of this Act if the person
(a) is married to another person, or
(b) has lived with another person in a marriage-like relationship, and
(i) has done so for a continuous period of at least 2 years, or
(ii) except in Parts 5 [Property Division] and 6 [Pension Division], has a child with the other person.
[30] Because she alleges she has a child with Mr. Dorje, Ms. Han need not allege that the relationship endured for a continuous period of two years to claim spousal support; but she must allege that she lived in a marriage-like relationship with him at some point in time. Accordingly, she must amend the notice of family claim.
B. The Test to Amend Pleadings
[31] Given that the notice of trial has been served, Ms. Han requires leave of the court to amend the notice of family claim: Supreme Court Family Rule 8-1(1)(b)(i).
[32] A person seeking to amend a notice of family claim must show that there is a reasonable cause of action. This is a low threshold. What the applicant needs to establish is that, if the facts pleaded are proven at trial, they would support a reasonable claim. The applicant’s allegations of fact are assumed to be true for the purposes of this analysis. Cantelon v. Wall, 2015 BCSC 813, at para. 7-8.
[33] The applicant’s delay, the reasons for the delay, and the prejudice to the responding party are also relevant factors. The ultimate consideration is whether it would be just and convenient to allow the amendment. Cantelon, at para. 6, citing Teal Cedar Products Ltd. v. Dale Intermediaries Ltd. et al (1986), 19 B.C.L.R. (3d) 282.
C. Pleadings in Family Law Cases
[34] Supreme Court Family Rules 3-1(1) and 4-1(1) require that a claim to spousal support be pleaded in a notice of family claim in Form F3. Section 2 of Form F3, “Spousal relationship history”, requires a spousal support claimant to check the boxes that apply to them, according to whether they are or have been married or are or have been in a marriage-like relationship. Where a claimant alleges a marriage-like relationship, Form F3 requires that they provide the date on which they began to live together with the respondent in a marriage-like relationship and, where applicable, the date on which they separated. Form F3 does not require a statement of the factual basis for the claim of spousal support.
[35] In this case, Ms. Han seeks to amend the notice of family claim to allege that she and Mr. Dorje began to live in a marriage-like relationship in or around January 2018, and separated in or around January 2019.
[36] An allegation that a person lived with a claimant in a marriage-like relationship is a conclusion of law, not an allegation of fact. Unlike the rules governing pleadings in civil actions, however, the Supreme Court Family Rules do not expressly require family law claimants to plead the material facts in support of conclusions of law.
[37] In other words, there is no express requirement in the Supreme Court Family Rules that Ms. Han plead the facts on which she relies for the allegation she and Mr. Dorje lived in a marriage-like relationship.
[38] Rule 4-6 authorizes a party to demand particulars, and then apply to the court for an order for further and better particulars, of a matter stated in a pleading. However, unless and until she is granted leave and files the proposed amended notice of family claim, Ms. Han’s allegation of a marriage-like relationship is not a matter stated in a pleading.
[39] Ms. Han filed an affidavit in support of her application to amend the notice of family claim. Normally, evidence would not be required or admissible on an application to amend a pleading. However, in the unusual circumstances of this case, the parties agreed I may look to Ms. Han’s affidavit and exhibits for the facts she pleads in support of the allegation of a marriage-like relationship.
[40] Because this is an application to amend - and Ms. Han’s allegations of fact are presumed to be true - I have not considered Mr. Dorje’s responding affidavit.
[41] Relying on affidavit evidence for an application to amend pleadings is less than ideal. It tends to merge and confuse the material facts with the evidence that would be relied on to prove those facts. In a number of places in her affidavit, for example, Ms. Han describes her feelings, impressions and understandings. A person’s hopes and intentions are not normally material facts unless they are mutual or reasonably held. The facts on which Ms. Han alleges she and Mr. Dorje formed a marriage-like relationship are more important for the present purposes than her belief they entered into a conjugal union.
[42] Somewhat unusually, in this case, almost all of the parties’ relevant communications were in writing. This makes it somewhat easier to separate the facts from the evidence; however, as stated above, it is difficult to understand the intentions and actions of a person from brief text messages.
[43] In my view, it would be a good practice for applicants who seek to amend their pleadings in family law cases to provide opposing counsel and the court with a schedule of the material facts on which they rely for the proposed amendment.
D. The Legal Concept of a Marriage-Like Relationship
[44] As Mr. Justice Myers observed in Mother 1 v. Solus Trust Company, 2019 BCSC 200, the concept of a marriage-like relationship is elastic and difficult to define. This elasticity is illustrated by the following passage from Yakiwchuk v. Oaks, 2003 SKQB 124, quoted by Myers J. at para. 133 of Mother 1:
[10] Spousal relationships are many and varied. Individuals in spousal relationships, whether they are married or not, structure their relationships differently. In some relationships there is a complete blending of finances and property - in others, spouses keep their property and finances totally separate and in still others one spouse may totally control those aspects of the relationship with the other spouse having little or no knowledge or input. For some couples, sexual relations are very important - for others, that aspect may take a back seat to companionship. Some spouses do not share the same bed. There may be a variety of reasons for this such as health or personal choice. Some people are affectionate and demonstrative. They show their feelings for their “spouse” by holding hands, touching and kissing in public. Other individuals are not demonstrative and do not engage in public displays of affection. Some “spouses” do everything together - others do nothing together. Some “spouses” vacation together and some spend their holidays apart. Some “spouses” have children - others do not. It is this variation in the way human beings structure their relationships that make the determination of when a “spousal relationship” exists difficult to determine. With married couples, the relationship is easy to establish. The marriage ceremony is a public declaration of their commitment and intent. Relationships outside marriage are much more difficult to ascertain. Rarely is there any type of “public” declaration of intent. Often people begin cohabiting with little forethought or planning. Their motivation is often nothing more than wanting to “be together”. Some individuals have chosen to enter relationships outside marriage because they did not want the legal obligations imposed by that status. Some individuals have simply given no thought as to how their relationship would operate. Often the date when the cohabitation actually began is blurred because people “ease into” situations, spending more and more time together. Agreements between people verifying when their relationship began and how it will operate often do not exist.
[45] In Mother 1, Mr. Justice Myers referred to a list of 22 factors grouped into seven categories, from Maldowich v. Penttinen, (1980), 17 R.F.L. (2d) 376 (Ont. Dist. Ct.), that have frequently been cited in this and other courts for the purpose of determining whether a relationship was marriage-like, at para. 134 of Mother 1:
1. Shelter:
(a) Did the parties live under the same roof?
(b) What were the sleeping arrangements?
(c) Did anyone else occupy or share the available accommodation?
2. Sexual and Personal Behaviour:
(a) Did the parties have sexual relations? If not, why not?
(b) Did they maintain an attitude of fidelity to each other?
(c) What were their feelings toward each other?
(d) Did they communicate on a personal level?
(e) Did they eat their meals together?
(f) What, if anything, did they do to assist each other with problems or during illness?
(g) Did they buy gifts for each other on special occasions?
3. Services:
What was the conduct and habit of the parties in relation to:
(a) preparation of meals;
(b) washing and mending clothes;
(c) shopping;
(d) household maintenance; and
(e) any other domestic services?
4. Social:
(a) Did they participate together or separately in neighbourhood and community activities?
(b) What was the relationship and conduct of each of them toward members of their respective families and how did such families behave towards the parties?
5. Societal:
What was the attitude and conduct of the community toward each of them and as a couple?
6. Support (economic):
(a) What were the financial arrangements between the parties regarding the provision of or contribution toward the necessaries of life (food, clothing, shelter, recreation, etc.)?
(b) What were the arrangements concerning the acquisition and ownership of property?
(c) Was there any special financial arrangement between them which both agreed would be determinant of their overall relationship?
7. Children:
What was the attitude and conduct of the parties concerning children?
[46] In Austin v. Goerz, 2007 BCCA 586, the Court of Appeal cautioned against a “checklist approach”; rather, a court should "holistically" examine all the relevant factors. Cases like Molodowich provide helpful indicators of the sorts of behaviour that society associates with a marital relationship, the Court of Appeal said; however, “the presence or absence of any particular factor cannot be determinative of whether a relationship is marriage-like” (para. 58).
[47] In Weber v. Leclerc, 2015 BCCA 492, the Court of Appeal again affirmed that there is no checklist of characteristics that will be found in all marriages and then concluded with respect to evidence of intentions:
[23] The parties’ intentions – particularly the expectation that the relationship will be of lengthy, indeterminate duration – may be of importance in determining whether a relationship is “marriage-like”. While the court will consider the evidence expressly describing the parties’ intentions during the relationship, it will also test that evidence by considering whether the objective evidence is consonant with those intentions.
[24] The question of whether a relationship is “marriage-like” will also typically depend on more than just their intentions. Objective evidence of the parties’ lifestyle and interactions will also provide direct guidance on the question of whether the relationship was “marriage-like”.
[48] Significantly for this case, the courts have looked to mutual intent in order to find a marriage-like relationship. See, for example, L.E. v. D.J., 2011 BCSC 671 and Buell v. Unger, 2011 BCSC 35; Davey Estate v. Gruyaert, 2005 CarswellBC 3456 at 13 and 35.
[49] In Mother 1, Myers J. concluded his analysis of the law with the following learned comment:
[143] Having canvassed the law relating to the nature of a marriage-like relationship, I will digress to point out the problematic nature of the concept. It may be apparent from the above that determining whether a marriage-like relationship exists sometimes seems like sand running through one's fingers. Simply put, a marriage-like relationship is akin to a marriage without the formality of a marriage. But as the cases mentioned above have noted, people treat their marriages differently and have different conceptions of what marriage entails.
[50] In short, the determination of whether the parties in this case lived in a marriage-like relationship is a fact-specific inquiry that a trial judge would need to make on a “holistic” basis, having regard to all of the evidence. While the trial judge may consider the various factors listed in the authorities, those factors would not be treated as a checklist and no single factor or category of factors would be treated as being decisive.
E. Is There a Reasonable Claim of a Marriage-Like Relationship?
[51] In this case, many of the Molodowich factors are missing:
a) The parties never lived under the same roof. They never slept together. They were never in the same place at the same time during the relationship. The last time they saw each other in person was in November 2017, before the relationship began.
b) The parties never had consensual sex. They did not hug, kiss or hold hands. With the exception of the alleged sexual assault, they never touched one another physically.
c) The parties expressed care and affection for one another, but they rarely shared personal information or interest in their lives outside of their direct topic of communication. They did not write about their families, their friends, their religious beliefs or their work.
d) They expressed concern and support for one another when the other felt unwell or experienced health issues, but they did not provide any care or assistance during illness or other problems.
e) They did not assist one another with domestic chores.
f) They did not share their relationship with their peers or their community. There is no allegation, for example, that Mr. Dorje told his fellow monks or any of his followers about the relationship. There is no allegation that Ms. Han told her friends or any co-workers. Indeed, there is no allegation that anyone, with the exception of Ms. Han’s mother, knew about the relationship. Although Mr. Dorje gave Ms. Han’s mother a gift, he never met the mother and he never spoke to her.
g) They did not intend to have a child together. The child was conceived as a result of a sexual assault. While Mr. Dorje expressed interest in “meeting” the child, he never followed up. He currently has no relationship with the child. There is no allegation he has sought access or parenting arrangements.
[52] The only Molodowich factor of any real relevance in this case is economic support. Mr. Dorje provided the funds with which Ms. Han purchased a condominium. Mr. Dorje initially wrote that he wanted to buy a property with the money, but, he wrote, “It’s the same thing if you buy [it]”.
[53] Mr. Dorje also provided a significant amount of money for Ms. Han’s postpartum care and the child’s first year of life.
[54] This financial support may have been primarily for the benefit of the child. Even the condominium, Ms. Han wrote, was primarily for the benefit of the child.
[55] However, in my view, a trial judge may attach a broader significance to the financial support from Mr. Dorje than child support alone. A trial judge may find that the money Mr. Dorje provided to Ms. Han at her request was an expression of his commitment to her in circumstances in which he could not commit physically. The money and the gifts may be seen by the trial judge to have been a form of down payment by Mr. Dorje on a promise of continued emotional and financial support for Ms. Han, or, in Mr. Dorje’s own words, “Taking care of her and you are my duty for life” (emphasis added).
[56] On the other hand, I find it difficult to attach any particular significance to the fact that Mr. Dorje agreed to provide funds for Ms. Han to purchase a wedding ring. It appears to me that Ms. Han demanded that Mr. Dorje buy her a wedding ring, not that the ring had any mutual meaning to the parties as a marriage symbol. But it is relevant, in my view, that Mr. Dorje provided $20,000 USD to Ms. Han for something she wanted that was of no benefit to the child.
[57] Further, Ms. Han alleges that the parties intended to live together. At a minimum, a trial judge may find that the discussions about where Ms. Han and the child would live reflected a mutual intention of the parties to see one another and spend time together when they could.
[58] Mr. Dorje argues that an intention to live together at some point in the future is not sufficient to show that an existing relationship was marriage-like. He argues that the question of whether the relationship was marriage-like requires more than just intentions, citing Weber, supra.
[59] In my view, the documentary evidence referred to above provides some objective evidence in this case that the parties progressed beyond mere intentions. As stated, the parties appear to have expressed genuine care and affection for one another. They appear to have discussed marriage, trust, honesty, finances, mutual obligations and acquiring family property. These are not matters one would expect Mr. Dorje to discuss with a friend or a follower, or even with the mother of his child, without a marriage-like element of the relationship.
[60] A trial judge may find on the facts alleged by Ms. Han that the parties loved one another and would have lived together, but were unable to do so because of Mr. Dorje’s religious duties and nomadic lifestyle.
[61] The question I raised in the introduction to these reasons is whether a relationship that began on-line and never moved into the physical world can be marriage-like.
[62] Notably, the definition of a spouse in the Family Law Act does not require that the parties live together, only that they live with another person in a marriage-like relationship.
[63] In Connor Estate, 2017 BCSC 978, Mr. Justice Kent found that a couple that maintained two entirely separate households and never lived under the same roof formed a marriage-like relationship. (Connor Estate was decided under the intestacy provisions of the Wills, Estates and Succession Act, S.B.C. 2009, c. 13 ("WESA"), but courts have relied on cases decided under WESA and the FLA interchangeably for their definitions of a spouse.) Mr. Justice Kent found:
[50] The evidence is overwhelming and I find as a fact that Mr. Chambers and Ms. Connor loved and cared deeply about each other, and that they had a loving and intimate relationship for over 20 years that was far more than mere friendship or even so-called "friendship with benefits". I accept Mr. Chambers' evidence that he would have liked to share a home with Ms. Connor after the separation from his wife, but was unable to do so because of Ms. Connor's hoarding illness. The evidence amply supports, and I find as a fact, that Mr. Chambers and Ms. Connor loved each other, were faithful to each other, communicated with each other almost every day when they were not together, considered themselves to be (and presented themselves to be) "husband and wife" and were accepted by all who knew them as a couple.
[64] Connor Estate may be distinguishable from this case because Mr. Chambers and Ms. Connor were physically intimate for over 20 years, and presented themselves to the world as a married couple.
[65] Other decisions in which a marriage-like relationship has been found to exist despite the parties not living together have involved circumstances in which the couple lived under the same roof at previous points in the relationship, and the issue was whether they continued to be spouses after they took up separate residences: in Thompson v. Floyd, 2001 BCCA 78, the parties had lived together for a period of at least 11 years; in Roach v. Dutra, 2010 BCCA 264, the parties had lived together for approximately three years.
[66] However, as Mr. Justice Kent noted in Connor Estate:
[48] … [W]hile much guidance might be found in this case law, the simple fact is that no two cases are identical (and indeed they usually vary widely) and it is the assessment of evidence as a whole in this particular case which matters.
[67] Mr. Justice Kent concluded:
[53] Like human beings themselves, marriage-like relationships can come in many and various shapes. In this particular case, I have no doubt that such a relationship existed …
[68] As stated, Ms. Han’s claim is novel. It may even be weak. Almost all of the traditional factors are missing. The fact that Ms. Han and Mr. Dorje never lived under the same roof, never shared a bed and never even spent time together in person will militate against a finding they lived with one another in a marriage-like relationship. However, the traditional factors are not a mandatory check-list that confines the “elastic” concept of a marriage-like relationship. And if the COVID pandemic has taught us nothing else, it is that real relationships can form, blossom and end in virtual worlds.
[69] In my view, the merits of Ms. Han’s claim should be decided on the evidence. Subject to an overriding prejudice to Mr. Dorje, she should have leave to amend the notice of family claim. However, she should also provide meaningful particulars of the alleged marriage-like relationship.
F. Delay / Prejudice
[70] Ms. Han filed her notice of family claim on July 17, 2019. She brought this application to amend approximately one year and nine months after she filed the pleading, just over two months before the original trial date.
[71] Ms. Han’s delay was made all that more remarkable by her change in position from January 19, 2021, when she confirmed, through counsel, that she was not seeking spousal support in this case.
[72] Ms. Han gave notice of her intention to proceed with this application to Mr. Dorje on March 16, 2021. By the time the application was heard, the parties had conducted examinations for discovery without covering the issues that would arise from a claim of spousal support.
[73] Also, in April, Ms. Han produced additional documents, primarily text messages, that may be relevant to her claim of spousal support, but were undecipherable to counsel for Mr. Dorje, who does not read Mandarin.
[74] This application proceeded largely on documents selected and translated by counsel for Ms. Han. I was informed that Mandarin translations of the full materials would take 150 days.
[75] Understandably in the circumstances, Mr. Dorje argued that an amendment two months before trial would be neither just nor convenient. He argued that he would be prejudiced by an adjournment so as to allow Ms. Han to advance a late claim of spousal support.
[76] The circumstances changed on May 6, 2021, when Madam Justice Walkem adjourned the trial to July 2022 and reset it for 25 days. Madam Justice Walkem noted that most of the witnesses live internationally and require translators. She also noted that paternity may be in issue, and Mr. Dorje may amend his pleadings to raise that issue. It seems clear that, altogether apart from the potential spousal support claim, the parties were not ready to proceed to trial on June 7, 2021.
[77] In my view, any remaining prejudice to Mr. Dorje is outweighed by the importance of having all of the issues between the parties decided on their merits.
[78] Ms. Han’s delay and changes of position on spousal support may be a matter to de addressed in a future order of costs; but they are not grounds on which to deny her leave to amend the notice of family claim.
CONCLUSION
[79] Ms. Han is granted leave to amend her notice of family claim in the form attached as Appendix A to the notice of application to include a claim for spousal support.
[80] Within 21 days, or such other deadline as the parties may agree, Ms. Han must provide particulars of the marriage-like relationship alleged in the amended notice of family claim.
[81] Ms. Han is entitled to costs of this application in the cause of the spousal support claim.
“Master Elwood”
4 child families 在 kottaso cook【kottaso Recipe】 Youtube 的精選貼文
◆こっタソ動物園チャンネル
新しいチャンネルです!こちらもおヒマな時にどぞ。
⇒https://www.youtube.com/c/こっタソ動物園-kottasoanimals
ご視聴ありがとうございます。
Thank you for watching
I want to deliver delicious Japanese-food recipes to the world
【材料】(保存期間:冷蔵で約4日)
●キュウリ:2本
●茄子:2本
●みょうが:3本
●カブ:5個
●オクラ:2パック
●赤パプリカ:1個
●黄パプリカ:1個
●大葉:10枚
●醤油:100ml
●めんつゆ:50ml(白だしでもOK)
●みりん:100ml
●お酒:150ml
●鶏ガラスープの素:大さじ1/2
●豆板醤:大さじ1/2(コチュジャンでもOK)
●酢:大さじ2
●塩こんぶ:大さじ1/2
●干し椎茸:2個
●生姜
●炒りごま:お好み量
●唐辛子:お好み量
※野菜はお好みで旬の物を入れてあげてね
※豆板醤の辛みが苦手な方は赤味噌同量+にんにく少々
※色んな物にかけて食べられるよう味は濃いめにしてあります。
そのまま食べたい方はお好みに合わせて味を薄めてあげたり、野菜の量を増やしてね
-------------------------------------------------------
今回は父が亡くなる前に家族を想って遺してくれた
僕にとっては宝物みたいなご馳走レシピから
『超やべぇ野菜漬け』を作らせて頂きました。
小さい頃の僕にでも簡単に作れるよう
難しい行程は全部省いて美味しく出来るように
父ちゃんが考えてくれたものです。
色んな出汁が良い感じにあわさっていて
とても深みのある味わいに仕上がってます。
今回は思い入れの強いレシピだったので撮影するかどうか悩んだんですが
お客様の美味しい笑顔を見るのが本当に大好きな父ちゃんだったので
コロナで大変な世の中ですが、このレシピで少しでも多くのご家庭の食卓で笑顔が作れたら
父ちゃんも天国で喜んでくれると思い動画にさせて頂きました。
今回動画で合わせている素麺はもちろん、うどんやご飯、豆腐、鶏肉や豚肉、サラダなどなど
合わせられるものは無限大です。
漬け時間が短くても野菜のシャキシャキ食感が楽しくて美味しいですし
半日後には味が染みて、これまた最高に美味しいです。
どちらも是非試してみて欲しいです。
本当に簡単なので是非作ってみて下さい。
【Ingredients】 (Preservation period: about 4 days refrigerated)
● Cucumber: 2
● Eggplants: 2
● Myoga: 3
● Turnip: 5
● Okra: 2 packages
● Red Paprika: 1
● Yellow Paprika: 1
● Shiso leaves: 10
● Soy sauce: 100ml
● Men-tsuyu (white soup stock can be used): 50ml
● Mirin: 100ml
● Sake: 150ml
● Chicken soup stock: 1/2 tablespoon
● Dou ban jiang (gochujang is also OK): 1/2 tablespoon
● Vinegar: 2 tablespoons
● Salted kelp: 1/2 tablespoon
● Dried shiitake mushrooms: 2
● Ginger
● Roasted sesame seeds: as you like
● Chili pepper: as you like
※ Add whatever vegetables are in season to your liking.
※ If you don't like the spiciness of Dou ban jiang, use the same
amount of red miso + a little garlic
※ If you prefer to eat it as it is, you can dilute the flavor or
increase the amount of vegetables according to your taste.
-------------------------------------------------------
This time, I made "Amazingly Yummy Pickled Vegetables" from a treasured
recipe that my father left for my family before he passed away.
In order to make it easy even for me as a child to make, My father's
idea was to make it tasty without all the difficult steps.
The sauce has a good combination of various dashi and has a very deep flavor.
I had a hard time deciding whether or not to publish this recipe
because I had such strong feelings about it.
My father really loved to see the smiles on the faces of his
customers, so I decided to make a video because I thought he would be
happy in heaven if I could bring smiles to the faces of as many
families as possible with this recipe in a world that's in trouble
with Corona.
This recipe can be used not only with somen noodles, but also with
udon noodles, rice, tofu, chicken, pork, salads, etc.
There are no limits to what you can eat with it.
Even if the marinating time is short, the crunchy texture of the
vegetables is fun and delicious, and after half a day, the flavors
have soaked in and it tastes great.
I hope you will try both of them.
It's really easy to make, so please give it a try!
●Instagram
⇒https://www.instagram.com/kossarishuntaso/
●twitter
⇒https://twitter.com/kottaso_recipe
●連絡先
⇒kossarisyuntaso@gmail.com
#こっタソの自由気ままに #漬けるだけ #超やべぇ野菜漬け #やみつき野菜 #Perilla #Cucumber #JapaneseGinger #Eggplant #okra #turnip #JapanesePickles #青椒 #피망 #GreenPepper #PorkRecipe #和食 #低糖質おつまみ #糖質制限レシピ #ヤセ筋 #低糖質レシピ #ヘルシー #ダイエットレシピ #激痩せ #糖質制限レシピ #ロカボレシピ #dietfood #lowcarbdiet #dietrecipe #晩ごはんレシピ #ご飯泥棒 #おかず #極上レシピ #ワンパンレシピ #時短レシピ #おうちごはん #至福の料理 #ご飯のお供 #太らないレシピ #やみつきレシピ #酒のつまみ #簡単つまみ #こっタソレシピ #男飯レシピ #mukbang #먹방 #男子ごはん #HomeCooking #StayHome #大食い #男ウケ料理 #晩酌 #自炊 #酒の肴 #簡単レシピ #弁当 #作り置き #常備菜 #Bento #recipesfordinner #マツコの知らない世界 #WithMe #Eazyrecipe #モッパン #から揚げ #唯一無二の絶品レシピ #こっタソ動物園
4 child families 在 shu-暮らしやすく- Youtube 的最讚貼文
祖母が昔作ってくれた里芋料理を思い出しながら娘とお昼ご飯を作りました
I made a dish that my grandmother made a long time ago
里芋の炊き込みご飯や煮物と炒め物です
I made cooked rice and fried food with my daughter
立派に育った里芋はどの料理にいれてもとても美味しくまた作りたいと思いました
Everything was delicious
午後は炊き込みご飯のおにぎりをおやつにお遣いをしに散歩へ
Go shopping with a snack in the afternoon
途中ハンドメイドマーケット会場を発見したりといつもの日常が非日常を感じる午後になり特別な日のように過ごす事ができました
I did a wonderful shopping
ミニマリストを目指している主婦の柊と申します🍀
My name is Shu,a housewife who aims to be a minimalist.
内向型で全く家事ができない私の少しでも家事が好きになるよう日々研究しているチャンネルになります☺️
I`m introverted and can`t do housework at all,It`s a channel that I'm researching every day so that I like housework even a little.
同じように片付けや掃除、料理に苦手意識があるけど頑張りたいという方と共に成長できたらと思っています🍀
In the same way,I think I can grow up with people who are not good at cleaning ,cleaning and cooking but want to work hard.
コメント欄や時々行うライブ発信にて情報を共有できたら良いなと思っています☺️
I hope I can share the information in the comments and live broadcasts.
関連コンテンツ-Related content-
ルームツアー -Room tour-
前編(リビング、キッチン、シューズクローク、おもちゃ部屋)
First part(Living room,kitchen,shoe rack,toy room)
→https://youtu.be/98iLXcoeNQA
後編(寝室、空き部屋、クローゼット、脱衣所、お風呂場、トイレ)
Second part(Bed room,empty room,closet×2、dressing room, bath room, toilet)
→https://youtu.be/nBMX7ZkSDiE
私服 春〜冬兼用の夏のコーディネート
Coordinating summer clothes for spring to winter.
→https://youtu.be/QWBj-CTTe-M
どんなチャンネルなのか簡単に説明します🍀
I will briefly explain what the channel is .
ミニマリスト を目指している主婦とミニマリストに興味の無い夫と2歳の娘の3人で暮らしています
I`m aiming to be a minimalist, my husband who is not interested in a minimalist ,and a two-year-old daughter living in three people.
たくさんの物に囲まれ20年近くスッキリとは程遠い生活をしていました
Surrounded by many things,I have lived far from being refreshed for nearly 20 years.
•スッキリ部屋を保つ工夫-Device to keep a clean room-
•小さい子やミニマリストに興味のない家族がいる
-There are small children and families who are not interested in minimalists.-
•時間やお金を確保したい
-I want to secure time and money-
・女性、主婦、子育て中の観点からのミニマリズムについて
-About minimalism from the perspective of women, housewives and child-rearing
この3点を中心に動画投稿をしています^ ^
スッキリとストレスのないミニマルな家を目指して頑張っています🍀
I'm doing my best to create a clean and stress-free minimal house.
柊のチャンネル
my channel
→https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCFlHulKFCOGFt7hBWo1T2lA
(チャンネル登録して頂けると励みになります^ ^)
ツイッタ→@shu271213
#秋ご飯
#日中
#お昼ごはん
#暮らし
#ミニマリスト
#ミニマリスト主婦
楽天ROOM https://room.rakuten.co.jp/room_5966f71412/items
Twitter @shu217213
nana https://nana-music.com/users/8063537
4 child families 在 shu-暮らしやすく- Youtube 的最讚貼文
手放して良かった物シリーズも今回で一区切りになります🌱
The series that was good to let go of is also separated into one section this time
今までお付き合いして頂き本当にありがとうございました😢
Thank you so much for staying with me
これからはライブや投稿する動画にて考えや思いを伝えていけたらと思います☺️
From now on, I'd like to convey my thoughts and thoughts in live and posted videos
動画全体が長くなってしまい申し訳ありません🙇♀️
言いたい事がまとまらず大変見にくい内容となっております💦
早送りで見られるよう大体の目安を記載しておきたいと思いますので参考にして頂けたらと思います🙇♀️
Sorry for the long video.
It's very hard to see what you want to say.
I would like to keep an approximate guide so that you can see it in fast-forward, so I hope you can refer to it.
手放して良かった物リスト-List of things you could have let go-
1.周りに流される-Swept around- 1:00
2.固定概念-Fixed concept- 2:32
3.無いと不安な気持ち-Anxious feelings- 4:42
4.他人への依存-Dependence on others- 6:33
5.心配性-Anxious mind- 8:18
この日は夫が飲み会でいなかったので、夕食に無印良品で購入したバターチキンカレーとナンを食べることにしました☺️
Since my husband wasn't having a drinking party on that day, I decided to eat butter chicken curry and Nan purchased at MUJI for dinner.
すごく前に夫に買ったナンを実は夫があまり好きではなく、バターチキンカレーのみ食べずっと消費される事がなく放置されていたので食べることにしました😻
I didn't like my husband so much, I actually bought butter chicken curry and it was not consumed so much, so I decided to eat it.
hank you for coming to see.
ミニマリストを目指している主婦の柊と申します🍀
My name is Shu,a housewife who aims to be a minimalist.
内向型で全く家事ができない私の少しでも家事が好きになるよう日々研究しているチャンネルになります☺️
I`m introverted and can`t do housework at all,It`s a channel that I'm researching every day so that I like housework even a little.
同じように片付けや掃除、料理に苦手意識があるけど頑張りたいという方と共に成長できたらと思っています🍀
In the same way,I think I can grow up with people who are not good at cleaning ,cleaning and cooking but want to work hard.
コメント欄や時々行うライブ発信にて情報を共有できたら良いなと思っています☺️
I hope I can share the information in the comments and live broadcasts.
関連コンテンツ-Related content-
ルームツアー -Room tour-
前編(リビング、キッチン、シューズクローク、おもちゃ部屋)
First part(Living room,kitchen,shoe rack,toy room)
→https://youtu.be/98iLXcoeNQA
後編(寝室、空き部屋、クローゼット、脱衣所、お風呂場、トイレ)
Second part(Bed room,empty room,closet×2、dressing room, bath room, toilet)
→https://youtu.be/nBMX7ZkSDiE
私服 春〜冬兼用の夏のコーディネート
Coordinating summer clothes for spring to winter.
→https://youtu.be/QWBj-CTTe-M
どんなチャンネルなのか簡単に説明します🍀
I will briefly explain what the channel is .
ミニマリスト を目指している主婦とミニマリストに興味の無い夫と2歳の娘の3人で暮らしています
I`m aiming to be a minimalist, my husband who is not interested in a minimalist ,and a two-year-old daughter living in three people.
たくさんの物に囲まれ20年近くスッキリとは程遠い生活をしていました
Surrounded by many things,I have lived far from being refreshed for nearly 20 years.
•スッキリ部屋を保つ工夫-Device to keep a clean room-
•小さい子やミニマリストに興味のない家族がいる
-There are small children and families who are not interested in minimalists.-
•時間やお金を確保したい
-I want to secure time and money-
・女性、主婦、子育て中の観点からのミニマリズムについて
-About minimalism from the perspective of women, housewives and child-rearing
この3点を中心に動画投稿をしています^ ^
スッキリとストレスのないミニマルな家を目指して頑張っています🍀
I'm doing my best to create a clean and stress-free minimal house.
柊のチャンネル
my channel
→https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCFlHulKFCOGFt7hBWo1T2lA
(チャンネル登録して頂けると励みになります^ ^)
ツイッタ→@shu271213
#暮らし
#作り置き
#夫がいない日
#ミニマリスト
#夕食
楽天ROOM https://room.rakuten.co.jp/room_5966f71412/items
Twitter @shu217213
nana https://nana-music.com/users/8063537
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